Feb 21, 2020
What it takes to make a friend.
Episode 70
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This podcast was inspired by the TEDx Talk by Shasta Nelson. https://www.ted.com/talks/shasta_nelson_frientimacy_the_3_requirements_of_all_healthy_friendships?language=en
Friendship Intimacy is where you feel seen and safe in a satisfying way.
How close do you feel to your friends right now? 1-10. 70% of us rate 5 or below.
We are hungry for closeness, the answer is not to make more friends.
3 Common Dominators Connect All Friends
- Positivity—joy, affirmation, gratitude, fun. 5 positive to negative
- Consistency—hours logged, time put in together, where you build your story. Why school friendships where easy.
- Vulnerability—where you are seen and talking about what is going right and wrong. Hardships and big dreams. You can only feel known if you share your big thoughts.
The more time we spend the stronger the friendship triangle. When we are lonely, we need to move some people up the triangle and not meet new people. This triangle is about how much we practice.
When we have high positivity we feel satisfied.
When we have high consistency we feel safe.
When we have high vulnerability we feel seen.
Self-Care: Reach out to an old friend and ratchet up the consistency factor.
Play Idea: Use YouTube to find karaoke tracks and have a family sing-off.
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